Be Inspired!

A Grandparent’s Perspective: Other-Centered Love

Printed with permission from Cynthia McMillen of Tennessee, grandmother of Sam.

How can a loving parent or grandparent adequately describe the love they have for their child or grandchild?

Verbalizing profound, other-centered love is difficult, if not impossible, because, I think, this love surely is a “portal” to where we are able to vaguely touch infinity.  Where we experience in some way the infinite unconditional love that God has for the creatures He made in His image.

In May of 2004, our grandson, Sam, was born in Lexington, KY.  Our boy arrived a month early in a very unassuming, undemanding way, amidst tornados and raging storms.

Little did his parents, or anyone, know that his early arrival would be the beginning of a lifetime of surprises he had in store.  Sweet Sam (as I like to call him) arrived with 1 extra chromosome in each of his cells, three holes in his heart and some characteristics we didn’t anticipate.  In his unique way, he seemingly set out to surprise everyone.  He learned to eat and thrive, he learned to smile and mesmerize adults, he learned all the important things that babies need to learn, including how to love and torment his older brother. He learned volumes of sign language and how to charm and flirt, how to welcome and love a little sister, and eventually even repaired his own heart!

He is now able to do most all the things that typically developing little boys do – all he needs is love, help and practice – the same things we all need.  Sam was blessed with loving, caring parents who set out to learn about his particular needs, and continue to find the best ways they can to meet them – just as they do with their children with typical needs.  I truly admire their loving patience, shared joy and tenacity in raising our grandchildren.

During this time that Sam has accomplished so much, he also taught us.  To paraphrase a website about Down syndrome:  He demonstrates a beautiful spontaneity, honesty, warmth and acceptance of others.  He inspires us to step back and enjoy life itself with his unabashed belly laugh that prohibits any straight faces.  At the same time, he is gentle, patient and tolerant. I have also learned that he gets frustrated with himself at times and his actions warrant a time-out by parents, or teachers, or even grandparents! He seems to thrive on consistent reinforcement of good behaviors and occasional time-outs.

The most important thing that Sam is teaching us as he grows, gets back to that profound, other-centered love that I have been trying to describe in this note.  HE LIVES IT!  Sam demonstrates it – his open, vulnerable, forgiving acceptance of family, friends, strangers!  I think our Sweet Sam is God’s reminder to all of us how we are all capable of loving.